While I really enjoyed all the weddings I conducted in 2011
as all the couples were delightful to deal with and brought so many ideas to
their weddings, I think I can be forgiven for having a particular
favourite. When you read about this
wedding which took place before the start of my web site and blog (probably
before I knew what those were too), I'm sure you will understand why.
This is the story of Leanne and Alan.(which has also been
submitted for consideration to be included in the Humanite magazine.
Article for the Humanightie
Magazine
The Wedding of Leanne Smith and Alan McDonald on 4th
April 2011.
Celebrant: George Caldow
One of the best parts of being a Celebrant is that I meet so
many lovely people, some of whom have a very different outlook on life and in
their way of dealing with adversity.
This is the story of Leanne and Alan who are one such couple.
During May 2010 I was first approached by Leanne and Alan to
conduct their wedding. The initial
e-mail gave the clue that this was to be no ordinary wedding.
“We would like to have a Humanist wedding ceremony and have you conduct
it. We are both mature adults and I am a
divorcee of more than twenty years. We
do have a special request that our five dogs and four horses and another owned
by a friend are in attendance. The
horses would be in a paddock next to the back garden.”
On our first meeting, I quickly realised that I was dealing
with a couple who had a different attitude about what was important in life but
who were very happy in each other’s company.
In addition to the several dogs in the house, beside their home was a
large paddock, stocked with horses and various fowl.
During the meeting it was apparent that both were “free
spirits” who were in tune with nature and also very down to earth. As we talked about a Humanist wedding they
were clear that they were not religious and wanted a ceremony with which they
could express themselves about their love for each other, their friends, and
their animals – though not necessarily in that order! Their initial idea surrounding the ceremony
was to include their animals as “guests” as the marquee would be in the paddock
and their horses would have their own vantage point to witness the ceremony. There would also be a mini fun fair, bouncy
castle and pony rides for the guests.
The wedding meal was to be provided by burger and ice cream van!
As we discussed the various elements of the wedding
ceremony, they expressed their desire for it to be personal and about them,
which, as we all know is easier said than done.
The date was to be the 16th of May 2011 as it was the
birthday of the first foal Leanne had bred called Faith. I then asked the question of how the bride
would arrive and the dress code for the day.
Leanne indicated that she would like to make her entrance as Lady Godiva
on her horse!
At this point I also realised that this was no ordinary
couple. Alan had not so much as raised
an eyebrow at this suggestion – and I had yet to learn the dress code for
everyone else, which information I awaited with trepidation! However, in the end, the discussion never
quite got that far.
In January 2011, when I contacted them to begin the drafting
of their ceremony, I learned that Alan had a new position within his firm and
was now going to be working overseas.
This meant he could no longer guarantee being in the UK on the proposed
date, so it was decided to postpone the wedding till the 16th May
2012. This was not a problem for me as it wasn’t a Saturday.
Consequently, you could have knocked me over with a feather
when, on the 16th of March, Leanne contacted me asking for advice. Alan had been diagnosed with cancer of the
throat and was to undergo immediate treatment.
They now wanted to have their wedding as soon as possible. Based on the 15 days’ notice required by the
Registrar, the earliest possible date was April 1st. Leanne requested Monday 4th April as that was
her birthday, to which I agreed.
We met the following Sunday to go through the design of
their ceremony and I was quite surprised to see how pale and gaunt Alan had
become since our original meeting. They
hoped to have the wedding at their new home in Drybridge, near Buckie, but that
would depend on Alan’s treatment schedule.
He was to be admitted to hospital in Aberdeen the following day and they
did not know whether he would face surgery, chemotherapy or both. That was a decision yet to be taken by the
surgeon.
Leanne then laid down the law for the dress code on the
day. As they did not know how well Alan
would be, she wanted almost everyone to wear their pyjamas! That way, Alan did not have to worry about
the possibility of being unable to dress up, as originally planned, in his
highland outfit, and he would not feel out of place. Most of the guests were happy with this,
though a few had reservations. To add a
bit of formality to the occasion the Piper and I were to be in Highland
outfits, but everyone else was to be in their PJ’s. Both were adamant that despite Alan’s
illness, it was to be a fun and relaxed day.
Alan’s son, Ross would be in charge of the catering - a
themed Breakfast with cereal, fry up, black pudding, kedgeree, croissants, jams
and marmalade. There would also be three
cakes; one traditional three-tiered, and
two large ice cream cakes, one of millionaires shortbread and the other of
lemon meringue ice cream.
In the event, Alan’s treatment commenced with radiotherapy
and chemotherapy and the hospital carefully worked out the dates so that Alan
could be at home for the wedding.
In traditional manner, the bridegroom stayed away from the
bride on the eve of the wedding and his so-called friends arranged a surprise
stag night which left him in a bed covered with pine cones and clutching a
teddy bear. This all happened despite
him being sober, so what would have happened otherwise we can only speculate.
On the day the weather wouldn’t play ball for an outside
ceremony so we had to settle for an intimate indoor wedding by the roasting
fireplace. Alan had prepared for an
outside wedding and had his thermals on under his pyjamas. As we waited by the fire (slowly cooking),
for Leanne to arrive, I asked Alan if he knew what she would be wearing (a
sensible question, I thought, given her previous suggestion of wedding attire). Alan said he had left it to her whether classically
sexy or funny, like his.
The wail from the drones, as the piper prepared to play,
heralded her imminent arrival from next door.
Leanne appeared, in funny PJ’s, accompanied by the dogs - also suitably
attired in their very own PJ’s!
Leanne and Alan on their wedding.
“The wedding may not have been as we originally thought, but
it was a great success. Despite my
illness, we both wanted a relaxed and fun ceremony, as that is us. The guests had no idea it was going to be so
relaxed or as much fun. The Mexican hug
took everyone by surprise and broke down any potential barriers and, from that
moment, we could see them relax. When it
came to our story - our wedding vows, the important words about us, our friends
and the way we care about each other and them - we could see those words
register with them as it reflected in their faces. There were even a few tears.
After the ceremony we were able to get out to the garden for
the photos and everybody was so positive about the ceremony and how they had enjoyed
it immensely. Everyone then joined in
helping to make the meal, and the party began.
About 8 o’clock some decided to take the dogs for a walk and headed
towards the village, tinnies in hand, and still in their PJ’s - as were the
dogs.
All in all we had a great day and when the last guest left
at 11 o’clock, we just sat and relaxed with Ross, his partner Fatima and Alan's
twin brother, going over a perfect day.
We still laugh about it now.
Our friends have been warned that if they liked the wedding they should
wait for the next part. We were really
pleased at the number of family and friends who made the effort to attend and
had such a good day, even if one had to run off for a while to help his father
with a calving. His father said to him
“I thought you were at a wedding, what’s the PJ’s about? He couldn’t believe the answer”
What they did not say was that Leanne had heroically
accomplished in seventeen days the organisation of exactly the wedding they
wanted while Alan was undergoing his treatment and she was rightly very pleased
with herself, as she is more of an animal than a people person.
I was immensely delighted to meet up with them again
recently to find Alan looking really well and actually looking forward to
returning to work in April. My only
worry now is - what is in store in the ‘next part’ they promised their guests?
I’ll leave the final word to Leanne:
“My wedding attire will be the most worn wedding outfit in
history - especially when the winter hits!”
This wedding took place at the Britannia Hotel in Aberdeen
with a couple whose main passion in life outside of their family is Pool and
both are quite proficient at it. The
wedding ceremony itself was quite a traditional affair, as Janey did not want
to have a fuss and people looking at her.
Kind of difficult to do on your wedding day I'm afraid.
Both bride and groom were nervous beforehand but, as they
stood facing each other, they gained the strength of the other, just like I
said in my intro - am I psychic! After
the ring warming, their small son did the honours by polishing the rings before
we placed them on their fingers.
